OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
