I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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