There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
love makes seman taste better
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
