why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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