So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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