would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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