so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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