Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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