She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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