I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
