haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
