Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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