So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
