I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
