I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
