woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We talked him into tasing himself.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize