What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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