So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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