Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
