Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
