OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
