Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
