i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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