You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
