I just made out with a guy for $7.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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