yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My vagina is officially offended.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
we should paint friendship bongs
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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