I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
