mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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