he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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