one might say we're banned from that church
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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