I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
