dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
