12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
