Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
