my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
