textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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