His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
