And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
