I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
