I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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