He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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