It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
