gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
