Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
