dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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