Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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