Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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