Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
