If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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