Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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