girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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