So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
