I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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