There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
