I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
