One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm getting married
To pizza
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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