Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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