so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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